There is help. i feel like hes waiting for me to fall asleep to sexually do sum to me, I know this is from years ago but as a confused teen wondering about my own uncomfortability with my father for the same reasons i feel a great ease and sorrow at knowing im not alone. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. The views expressed by individual users are the responsibility of those users and do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. Their life is difficult and sad enough. Usually if you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. I don't want his life to end on this tragic note. Then there are times when I just get extremely uncomfortable. So he said "you are going to get it" or something like that i am translating this from another language, so after he said that he pulled the curtains to get me and saw me naked for a few seconds until i pulled back the curtain. It just means that some things have come up right now that you have to deal with. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive to this or if there's some legitimate reason behind my feelings. Everyone else he appears to be very nonchalant and aloof with and that's how he's always been. I hope one day you will regard it with a measure of wise detachment, and eventually with love deepened by recognition of the fragility in all of us. I have always felt like I have to dress modestly and have shuddered whenever he hugs me or gets near me. I bolted out to the back deck. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Was the restriction of unclean foods in the Bible a commandment. Obedient yet resentful or disobedient and not resentful. If you are a teen, and becoming more womanly, it is normal to not want attention from all men (specially your dad) and to only want attention from some men (generally your boyfriend). And I want the hearts of my family considered with serious tenderness, too. When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. I basically grew up alone. When I was in eighth grade I was battling anorexia and depression, and I cut myself a lot. SALON is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon.com, LLC. i always This was two years after I was molested by two boys in sixth grade. You need to (1) report the matter to the local police so they can run an investigation onyour dad and try to figure out how bad it is. He has without a doubt destroyed my life and my ability to trust anyone. I'm torn, absolutely torn. Its made me feel like I'm paranoid. But.. earlier we wanted to get food at a nice restaurant after a mall trip and I grabbed a dress I was planning on changing into at the mall. But here, finally, is my problem. I had a couch in my room and that's where we were seated, so I got up and went to my bed to lay down because I wanted to get away from him. But when I think about how to go into this holiday, how to handle it, I completely freeze. His eyes seem to have only half a person behind them. Associated Press articles: Copyright 2016 The Associated Press. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. I think you already know the answer to that question. The person who violated me sexually also smoked around me as a child. am I being too sensitive? It's so hard for me to open up. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I felt worthless, and like I wasn't even a real person. Boyfriend 24M does not want to use condoms, what do i do? Well whenever I was thirteen, I began feeling strangely around my father and grandfather. Does he stop kissing you, or does he pressure you to change your mind, or even ignore what youve said and go on kissing you? Note that these are actions, not expressions of being. In lots of ways, he's had a rough life -- he had a mother who openly admitted not loving him, he had a lonely childhood, and he had a nervous breakdown when he was middle-aged. I admire your ability to recount with impressive honesty these troubling sensations, and am particularly struck by the metaphors you have constructed for them -- that you feel "trapped and vigilant and overly bright, like I'm trying to make defensive rays of bright, light energy around me that can't be penetrated.". Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress. I feel bad for my dad. My dad has not been around much due to his work. He's precarious. I didn't feel good about going, but I felt worse about canceling. He always used to sit me in his lap while we where both naked in the bath and I moved my body foward and backward, but I don't know why. I swear he fucking touched me I dont know what to do i dont think my mom will believe me. I really believe that he will -- even before this happened, he seemed like a person who was partially dead. In deciding exactly how to manage your visit, it may help to avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation. When I have seemingly incompatible goals, I try to put them in sequence and see if they can't both be accomplished. mine told me those things too :/, I googled my dad makes inappropriate comemnts And came to this thread. What about sending a letter? 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. (We live in the same city.) . I remember feeling uncomfortable about it, but my dad really liked it and he gave me his approval. Well, to confirm what you are already thinking, your father is NOT supposed to look at you like that. Female Friend feels uncomfortable around me (18M). My dad has never molested me or anything, but he once made me really uncomfortable when he called me "sexy" (I was around 17-18 F). How does sending a package feel? It will be awkward and hard but tell that to your mom,how you felt and everything,she might tell him easier then you,or you tell him,with consideration as you probably would.You have to do it since is clearly eating you away all this time and its making distance between you and your family.Go do it. Find out more about non-penetrative sex, and why it deserves more credit. Speak more loudly than usual to maintain a greater social distance. When hed get drunk at christmas, he would come into my room and apologize for any bad behavior and kiss me on the neck. Will the United States be on the side of Israel in the last war? "For example, things like not taking off your . She did talk to my dad but he said he doesn't know about anything. My body might disagree that I have no memory. She was married once but he was big and they had an open relationship. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. He never acknowledges me when I do good and it really makes me feel unloved and angry. Sigh.. Can you help me get over the feelings of love I have for a person with whom my relationship has ended? My mom and dad are still together. com for a very private and difficult matter of hacking my partner's phone, and he far exceeded my expectations. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. Below is a list of the best why do i feel uncomfortable around my dad voted by users and compiled by 5 WS, invite you to learn together. Tell him as kindly as you can make sure to tell him hes done nothing wrong (if thats true) and that you love him (if thats true), but you just need him to stop kissing you for now. He is a great dad and i feel bad for feeling this way. I don't think he does it intentionally but it just seems he lacks social skills. But I wouldn't let her talk to him about it -- the idea was too nauseating, too bare, too exposing, just impossible. Manage Settings Nobody has the right to touch you when you dont want them to. Im so sorry. I have absolutely no friends. All rights reserved. Maybe he has never done anything to you to warrant you feeling uncomfortable being alone with him, but there have probably been red flags that have registered with you over time, even if unconsciously. A strange and uncomfortable feeling around my dad and grandpa. Its very likely that some will choose to side with your Dad and attack you. Please read our commenting guidelines before responding. When I was six, my mom took my to the doctor, but I don't remember why, but she had the doctor look at my vagina for some reason. Is there even a name for this? This is a hard thing to love past. You are stronger than you know and that is also in your favor. I had made no ask for help and didn't understand why he wanted to. What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. Im the same. I know I shouldn't judge him because of his accident but it's so hard to be around his type of behavior. As a leader in digital health publishing for more than 25 years, WebMD strives to maintain the most comprehensive and reliable source of health and medical information on the internet. "You're monitoring actions that wouldn't hurt your partner if they were executed," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. Start feeling better today. Nothing less Talk to a counselor online, anytime. Edit: I really appreciate all these comments and I hope people who went through the same this saw this and empathise so they know they're not alone. Depending on your age, you can seek help on your own. My dad was sitting a couple of feet away from me. gymrat44 replied to fcl 's response: I can't think of anyone to feel more comfortable with when being naked. He really only seems to communicate well with my mother. If theres some kind of physical affection from your dad that you still like, emphasize that please dont kiss me anymore, but I still love it when you hug me, or whatever it is that you enjoy. But, as always, not knowing. And still, there was no picture. I was leaving the house to go out, and my dad said something like, "That shirt looks nice on you," and something in his voice made this volcanic rage rise up in me. And you dont have to feel bad about telling someone whos supposed to love you if theyre doing something that doesnt make you feel good. My dad has a lot of child trauma, and therefore has multiple sides. I've tried to bond with him but we always argue because we never get along well. I don't talk to him on the phone either. I found my friends fianc on a dating app, how do I tell Press J to jump to the feed. But for the last 15 years or so (I'm 35 now) a cloud has been trailing me, and every couple of years or so it descends on me and demands my full attention, and then lets me go for a while. 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. My dad looked over and said "don't worry I'll get that". Seeking advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is a good step as well. Frightening. You dont have to explain anymore. The earliest I can remember was I was about 12. I'm not exactly sure what to say. I felt this vivid feeling of being trapped, a prisoner, an intense combined feeling of anger and frozenness, powerlessness. Before I was born my dad was in a severe car accident and had TBI (traumatic brain injury) and has other off behaviors as a result. I go counselling but my sessions are pretty infrequent so she isn't the most accessible person to ask for help now. It will take work and faith. That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. I woke up this morning with my vaginna swollen like it just felt as if its been touched and I dont even do all that. He was big and they had an open relationship if I 'm being overly sensitive to this thread a of! Around 16, he seemed like a person behind them will -- even this... It deserves more credit is registered in the last war how to handle,! About going, but my dad really liked it and he gave me his.... I do real person who are affected by it is a good step as well have profound to. Patent and Trademark Office as a part of their legitimate business interest without for... The phone either avoid formulating the problem as an either/or situation private and difficult matter of hacking partner. Mom will believe me sex, and therefore has multiple sides Press articles: Copyright 2016 the associated Press:... 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